Last night, I decided to gave up to my very short relationship. Since, he asked me to came back together again last October 2013, I haven’t seen him deliver his words and promises to me. It was a hard decision, but also easy for me. Some friends and families said that it was to fast to made that such a conclusion. However, to my principal it was an enough period of time for him to convince me if he is the one who deserve my love and long commitment from me. But, time is up, I decided to brake up. If he loves me, proof it to me. Seven years ago, he became my ex for a reason. Yesterday, he became my ex for the same reason. Because of this personal experience, I hope every girls consider few steps before except your ex lover back again to your arm again.
1. Evaluate the reason of two of you brake up in the past
So, you are now single and out of the blue, your ex boyfriend is contacting you again. He said he miss you and his feeling to you remind the same. Suddenly you and him involves in a conversation about the past. How beautiful those moments are, and he want to invite you for a dinner, hang out or meet up – what ever you call it. Please STOP. Don’t feel happy and excited about it. Instead, evaluate again why the two of you brake up in the past. Was it him, OR was it you who asked for the brake up?. Was the case very crucial?. Whatever the reason was, it was a problem that cause the brake up. Afterward, ask yourself, WILL YOU BE OK with the meet up?
2. Lower your expectation
OK, so you finally meet him and spend some hours with your ex boyfriend. How do you feel after the meet up?. If your feeling was not there anymore, easy not to continue the conversation with him anymore. But, how if? – how if your feeling still there, even only a little? and how if you are happy to finally answer his invitation? maybe you think it was a great night to see him again.
Always remember, he becomes your ex for a reason. So, don’t believe him straight away that this time he will make it right. Ask him to proof it to you. For this, you cannot rush him but also cannot be too long to see the proof.
While you watch for his progress to win your heart again, never except his idea to comeback together. Wait and see, lower your expectation. So, if nothing has improve, you don’t feel hurt as before. The only one who can control the relationship is you. Since he is the one who ask for the reunited, the ball is in your hand. So, challenge him to proof it to you.
3. Set the standard you want him to treat you
You are the only one who need to be convince. So, ask yourself in front of the mirror, what do you want,what do you need from the guy? – how do you want them to treat you, and tell him. Of course, its’ not something that is out of his senses that you ask him to do for you. E.g: you want him to priorities you over his favorite Game on television or his friends. If he truly want you to be apart of his life again, he will make it possible for you.
4. Time to get back together – only if you get what you want
Until he hasn’t proof it to you yet, don’t give him your much valuable time that much. Always priorities yourself first. Don’t go for holiday with him, don’t come to visit his family, don’t hang out with his friends. Just don’t. Let those activities as the privilege you will give to him only if he can proof it that he really want you and this time is going to be different.
So, the decision is yours. We, girls deserve respect from guys. So, start to respect yourself first and teach them to respect you by treating as you expect him to do.